PIQue Coaching and Strategy
Those Damn Voices
I’ve been in a funk the past few weeks. Things haven’t been going my way.
Everything was moving in the right direction and then came the smack down. Like a 2×4 to the back of my legs, UGH!
I fell hard, deflated.
And then it started. The narrative. The little voice in the back of your mind that works its way front and center until it’s the only voice you hear. The one that stands above the crowd. The voice that wakes you up in the middle of the night. I actually had three of these “Saboteur” voices show up to this special party.
1. The Judge – Everyone has a Judge. The Judge says ” You’re not good enough”, “Why do you think you can do this”? Or better yet, ” How could (name) do such a thing? What the hell is wrong with them? No one can do this better than I can. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen” The list goes on. The Judge holds your resentments, assumptions and preconceived notions. Judge of self, others and circumstances.
2. The Hyper – Achiever – This voice says “You’re not working hard enough” “Push harder, climb that mountain faster. ” and yet, what happens when you get there? It’s still not enough and it’s on to the next mountain or race. What did you do for me today? Your success is never acknowledged. OK maybe for five minutes. Success is dependent on constant performance, self respect and self validation.
3. The Victim – “Why did this happen, I gave everything I have, I don’t deserve this” Let’s throw a damn pity party. Let me just isolate and hide.The Victim particularly aggravates me (my judge calling again), because of all my saboteurs, my victim never shows up. And now The Victim is dating my Hyper-Achiever.
We all have these voices. There are 10 in total. Controller, Hyper-Rational, Avoider, Stickler, Hyper-Vigilant, Pleaser (one of my other favorites) and Restless.
Each one of these damn voices thrives and prospers from fear and lies. And you believe them. These lies control a narrative and story that impacts your decisions, productivity, and personal and professional happiness. This is the reason that only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their full potential.
What are the possibilities for you, your team and your company if you could shift your mindset from anxiety, disappointment, blame and guilt to curiosity, excitement and resolute action?
One of the immediate actions I have learned to take when I’m challenged and start spinning is to pause….take three deep breaths…. and ask myself what is the “gift and opportunity” from this challenging experience. Yes, the “gift and opportunity” when you are challenged. Sometimes it takes a while for the answer to present itself. Other times, just that slight pause will shift your neuro pathways enough that your perspective begins to change. It takes practice.
So who is talking to you right now? I’m really curious.